SmellsLikeTeenSpirit

i lost!!
i am lost!!
i am stranded!!

feeling so suck today!
but fortunately i know how to hide my sadness!
ketika berjalan menuju restoran, air mata rasanya mo ngalir!
tapi ketika udah melewati pintu resto,
i waved my hand cheerfully to the staff.
senyuman menghias bibir. faking smile!
but nobady noticed, it's okey.
lalu mulai bekerja sambil bercanda dg mami.
i said to mami "beter lachen than huilen" (alebih baik ketawa drpd menangis)
dan seprti biasa mulai ketawa2 out loud.
lee bahkan bilang "u're happy today"
ya aku jawab "as always. but do i really look happy?"
dia bilang iya.
ya bagus lah.
aku bersyukur pd Tuhan, karena diberi kemampuan mengubah2 expresi.
i mean, aku bisa ketawa dg lepas biarpun sebenarnya hati sedang tersayat.
bahkan my sister pernah bilang "u can be awarded as the best actress".
yeah, i can be a hundred different things within a measure of a day!

i felt rather gloomy tonight.
bahkan pesta ultahnya si jason (manager resto bangkok) tak bisa bikin aku begitu semangat.

Tuhan, aku kecewa pd diriku sendiri!
dan kesedihanku bukannya berkurang malah semakin dalam.
ketika kubaca blognya my sista, makes me feeling even worse!
aku tak kuasa membendung air mata ku...
sis, we are really alone in this damn world!
kita battle sendiri!